We just lost my little brother (25 years young) to suicide on Sept. 26th. I was the one that found him the night he shot himself in the head and I am okay through all of it. I have been in therapy, I work full time, I’m taking care of myself. The day of my brother doing what he did, he texted my dad and told him like a goodbye and said that there’s a video on his phone, the last video in his photos and we never got to his phone in time, before the police arrived. Whenever I bring up the phone and ask if he got it back or heard anything he is so quick to say no and he feels very cold towards me. I can understand if he doesn’t want to watch that video on his phone and it’s his own personal closure to keep the good alive in his mind of my brother, but I do not feel that same way and I WANT to see that video. He might be protecting me and my mind/state of mind but I feel like I’m more than capable of making my own decisions and I’ll be okay. I’m 29 years old and the last two days of my brothers life, I was the one talking to him on the phone and trying to get him to come back home, begging him, texting him, and not giving up. Not saying my dad didn’t do anything to enough of whatever… honestly nothing would have probably stopped him or changed his mind. But I pray that my dad can reconsider and maybe have a change of heart to allow me to see the video someday. I know everything is still fresh and maybe he DOESNT really have the phone yet, idk. But tonight I’m really shaken up by this and my feelings are kind of hurt a little. Thank you all in advance for your thoughts and prayers.
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